By this time tomorrow I will be the ripe old age of 25. This is the age that I will undoubtedly become a fully functioning adult human being because that is when that happens right? To celebrate (early) I thought I’d share with you some of the more horrible decisions I’ve made over the last quarter-century of my life and what I’ve learned from them.
I got a new hair cut and couldn’t wait to brag about it to my then best friend, Heather. I was so excited I didn’t even wait til the teacher stopped talking during class to blab on and on about my very fashionable bowl cut. Turns out if you talk during class you have to stay in during recess and sit in complete silence at your desk. This silence was and still is my nightmare.
My mother used to get so mad about those ears sticking out of the hat in all softball photos.
Life lesson learned: I have learned nothing from this to be quite honest. 20 years later I still talk far too much (a lot to my still best friend, Heather) and will tell anyone who will listen about my hair cuts and other relatively unimportant happenings in my life (aka having a blog).
2000: The Fourth Grade
I made the terrible mistake of calling my then nemesis Heather, a “bloody fish face” after returning from a family vacation in England. Heather did not enjoy this nickname and subsequently turned the entire class against me for an entire week.
European vacation photos with a cameo by little sister Meghan back when she smiled for photos.
Life lesson learned: Don’t assume you can use lingo you picked up from visiting a place for a week… it’s not your lingo… nobody will think you are cooler. Be yourself but don’t be an asshole. More 10 year olds need to hear that.
2005: Freshman Year of High School
Ohhh the Great Eye Brow Debacle of 2015… what a time to be an awkward teenager. I don’t even think you could consider my eye brows over-plucked… they just weren’t there. You wanna talk about a learning experience.
Sharing is caring. Don’t let this happen to you.
Life lesson learned: I wish I would have known that only two years after they finally grew back I would take a field hockey ball to the eye causing them to once again be ripped away from me. They are okay now but they will never be good. You know what’s cool 15 year old Kari? Eye brows. Keep them!
2010: Sophomore Year of College
Ah the year of the Bronzed Goddess. Jersey Shore was big, I was living in the south for the first time in my life and man did I care deeply about looking tan. So much so that I spent hundreds of dollars on tanning bed packages, spray tans and J-Wow Bronzing Lotion. I looked like an oompa loompa but nothing would stop me.
This was the night Casey and I also ate a 5lb bag of tater tots so you know… live and learn.
Life lesson learned: I practically sailed myself over from Ireland, never will it look “natural” to be a tanning bed regular. I mean besides the fact that it is horrible for you I’d go back and tell myself that even Snookie stopped tanning.
In all seriousness I’d tell 20 year old me to not get so hung up on fitting in. Don’t be so selfish and don’t spend every dime that you absolutely do not have. You are much more likely to not only maintain relationships but create new ones if you embrace the fact that you are a goofy, sarcastic, loud, giggly, dancing fool. I’m serious about the money thing though, former self, you are broke, please stop pretending you aren’t!
2015: The Big 2-5!
While it hasn’t happened just yet I hope that my worst decisions this year are eating too many McDonald’s french fries, being “too” good at applying liquid eyeliner and attempting to hug a police officer.
I hope I find balance between being taken seriously and not taking myself too seriously.
I hope that I take chances but make thoughtful decisions.
I hope that I keep smiling to show off my (first year on my own dental insurance) pearly whites.
I hope that when I drop the ball I find a way to pick it back up.
I hope I get that degree that has taken so many years and life lessons to get and remember how lucky I am to have been successful along the way to that little piece of paper.
I hope that this is the year that my brother thinks my stories are hilarious.
I hope that this is the year that I get a pony and figure out how to wear a tulle skirt in public.
I hope that I’m a better daughter, sister, girlfriend and friend to those I love so dearly but bring just enough dysfunction to keep making them laugh.
I hope that I become the
coolest f&*#ing person on planet earth best version of myself.
As always, thank you so much for reading! You guys are seriously the best!
Feel free to share a hopefully hilariously horrible decision or a life lesson learned below!